Professional Watchman
by Gooseman
Summary: A story about a man who just wants to do his job, humanoid robots won't leave him in peace and Mike Schmidt has to repair work relations. Warning: Extremely lewd content meant for people 18 years of age or higher. Also, sorry for any format issues like missing characters, it seems that my documents don't like to transfer into this system too well.
1. Chapter 1

"M-Mike, let me in!" A feminine robotic rabbit kept making lewd noises. The sounds of feverish schlicking could be heard from the other side of the door.  
"No." A well-groomed and professional Mike Schmidt sat in the chair.  
"Mike, I want to suck your dick! Pleeeeaase, I'll settle for even a sniff!" Her eyes, desperate and half-lidded.  
"No."  
"Why not?! You humans have sex right? Don't you want to experience the joys of procreation?!" She whined from the other side.  
"Nah."  
"M-me and Chica want you bad, it's your job to take care of us isn't it?"  
"It's my job to watch you" He turned his head back to his tablet.  
"O-oh my, aaaahhh!" She started rocking and whining harder.  
"I didn't take it you enjoyed voyeurism."  
"And I didn't take you to be such a tease~" As she licked the window. "Better come out and clean that stain Mikey, it's unprofessional to leave such a mess around your work area..." She leaned against the window, hips lewdly rocking to and fro.  
"I'm not going to clean that window."  
"Goddammit Mike let me fuck you!"  
"No."  
"Why NOT?!"  
"I'm not getting paid to fuck robots, I've got a home that needs to be paid for and this place already cheats me out of enough money."  
"S-so diligent!" She moaned "I could imagine it already, just aiming to do anything to please your partnAAHHHn~" She squealed.  
"Keep imagining it then."  
"Oh MIKE, you DO careHNNGG" She could only let out a moan after climaxing. After a few breaths, she spoke up again "That's okay, I know you'll be thinking about me when you get home~"  
"Ma'am all I want is some sleep when I get home."  
"Maybe I'll just have to sneak out and pounce you while you're there~"  
"And how are you going to do that? Don't you have kids to entertain?"  
"It doesn't matter Mike, my plan worked" She said with a lecherous grin.  
"What?"  
The lights went out.  
"MOTHERFUCKER!" His last words before he took off running through the other door. 


	2. Chapter 2

"MIIIIIKE~" Bonnie yelled "COME BACK HERE MY LITTLE CARROT~"  
Mike could only keep running. He knew if he talked back he'd only make her hor-  
'THAT'S IT!'  
"Bonnie, I can only imagine all the things you'll do to me."  
She got in range and pounced on him immediately "The time for imagination has stopped Mikey~." She began to ready herself, hovering over his body. He slipped out from under her and made a beeline for the kitchen.  
"Sorry, told you I was a tease!"  
"MIIIKEEEYYY~!" She couldn't control herself, he left her behind in a puddle of shame and lust.

Chica was already waiting.  
"Moikey, had fun with Bonnie already?" her accent coming on thick and sultry "Don't worry, I'll keep the fun goin'" She began tracing her feathery hands along her body.  
Mike didn't stop running.  
"NOPE!"  
"WHAT?! C'MERE AND SAMPLE THE BREAST!"  
"NOPE!"  
He ran and ran, turning a corner and ducking down. She completely missed him in her rush. He turned around the corner again so he couldn't get found immediately if Chica turned around. He managed to catch his breath.  
"I don't get paid enough for this shit" he whispered to himself.  
"That can be arranged" a large and curvy she-bear was found next to him.  
"Sorry boss-lady, no sexual favors."  
"That's a shame. Still, I admire your professionalism..." she leaned in to his ear "...my little honeycomb~" she whispered.  
She leaned back a bit and continued. "You should get ready, it's almost 6AM and Foxy's willing to get a bit...knotty with you." She stated with a smirk. "Don't forget to consider my offer~" She waved and walked away.  
Mike shook his head, and waited out the flirtatious calling that he could have sworn was near him.  
Ding dong.  
-6AM-  
"I'm getting too tired for this shit" Mike finalized with a sigh. He took off through the entrance and drove back home.

Upon getting home, he locked up his car. It still made a sound as he made his way to the door and unlocked it.  
The trunk was open.  
"SURPRISE MIKEY~!" Chica and Bonnie shouted, hopping out of the back of the car's trunk.  
"I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!" He ran in, slammed the door and locked it. It didn't last long though, as it went flying off its hinges.  
"NOW C'MERE MOI-" Chica cut herself off.

"Wot?" She spoke.

Here stood a large rotund robot. A dome light for a 'head' and a very large body. It didn't look like a humanoid like these two did though, it looked like a guard robot you'd find in a military base.  
"Greetings. Fisto is programmed to please." It croaked in a very robotic and static tone.  
"NO WAY MOIKEY, YA DITCHED US FOR THIS HUNK-A-JUNK?!" Chica shrieked, feathers flying and wings in the air.  
Bonnie was a mess, sitting in a curled heap weeping.  
"It's nothing like that I swear! It's just a servant!" Mike defended himself.  
"Please assume the position." The robot crushed Mike's defense effortlessly.  
Chica shook her head, picked up Bonnie and made their way back to the pizzeria.  
Mike assumed the position. 


	3. Chapter 3

Mike Schmidt assumed the position, ready for his robotic servant.  
"I need a drink after today, can you pour me one?" His position was on the couch, sitting.  
"What would you like sir?"  
"Rum and Coke."  
"60/40?"  
"You know me too well." The robot went into the kitchen and began its work. "Man, I need to save up to get your voice clips fixed. I can't even have company over." He looked to his unhinged door "And that, I'm not gonna pay for. I'll have to fix that when I wake up."  
"Here is your drink sir or ma'am."  
"Thanks." He took a sip.  
"Beginning door repair procedure."  
He spat out his drink.  
"You can do that?!"  
"It is within my programming's parameters to repair any destruction of my owner's property."  
"I am so glad I found you in a junk heap."  
He wondered how this entire spat was going to affect his relations at work. They're nice bots, just a little too...unprofessional at times.

"Oh those cheap b-bastards in charge!" Mike lamented in his office, shivering.  
The establishment didn't have enough money so they turned off all the heating functions in the dead of winter. Said that the electricity expenses were too high.  
The purple rabbit sulked at the window.  
"M-Mike," She sobbed "why did you c-choose that thing instead of u-us?"  
"I-I didn't ch-c-chooose either of you." 'Goddamn it's cold'  
"I HEARD WHAT THAT ROBOT SAID MIKE!" She yelled "I found him in a j-junk heap, his voice clips were like that w-when I found it." He 'sobered' up out of the cold for a moment "Do you really think I have the cash to pay for fixing robots?"  
"Why should I believe you?" She asked 'This is going to only leave relations terse if I just sit in here' Mike thought.  
Mike sighed and opened the door. He wrapped the rabbit in his arms. "I wouldn't do this if I was 'assuming the position' for my servant."  
She squealed and returned the hug all too happily.  
"I'm still not boinking you."  
"That's fine...all I want is this right now."  
'Now for the hard part' His mind wandered to Chica. He couldn't get himself out of the death grip Bonnie had.  
"Hey uh, I kind of need to apologize to Chica too."  
"We can go together."  
'Of course she would' He thought.  
"Alright, let's go. At least I won't be so cold anymore."  
They walked on side-by-side, arms across each other's shoulders. Bonnie stuck closely to him.  
"Maybe you should let me into the guard room more often then, I'll keep you warm~"  
...'I'll consider that offer' He thought. 


	4. Chapter 4

He got to the kitchen, Bonnie in tow. "Chica we need to talk"  
"Hello Moikey" Chica said with a low, sinister tone. "I'd like to play a game with you."  
"If it's lewd, no thanks."  
"Nothin' like that, not in the mood." She went up to her personal pizza dispenser she had ordered from Japan. "Naw Moike, I'm in the mood for some Russian Roulette." She turned to face him "Care for a game?"  
"How's it work?"  
"You should know Moikey, ya fixed it up for me!"  
"...Right." 'She saw through that rather quick' He thought "But I don't think Bonnie is aware, so explain anyway." He felt Bonnie squirm a little more into his shoulder.  
"Awright ya gotta point there" She cleared her throat.  
'Robots don't need to do that' Schmidt noted.  
"How this game woiks is that this here dispensa'-" She tapped on the machine "-has every flavah of Fazbear's pizza." She took her winged-hand off of the machine and took on a menacing tone "...Even the sweet sundae pizza."  
Bonnie shrieked in terror and got as far away from the machine as possible.  
"So Moikey, wassit gunna be?"  
"What are the stakes?"  
"Glad ya asked! If you win, you come out clean n' easy and I'll even apologoize!"  
"And if I lose?"  
"Me an' Bonnie are gonna grind on ya dick until it's liquifoied"  
"Alright, it's a deal."  
"Since I made the offer, I'll go foist." Chica walked up to the machine.  
She pressed the button labeled 'randomizer' and the dispenser put out a slice of meat lovers'. She gobbled it up, walked aside and held her wing towards the machine. "You're next."  
Mike Schmidt walked up to the machine, hit the button. He got cheese.  
Chica walked up to the machine "I'm gonna make sure ya leave dis place numb..." She grinned cheekily. She pressed the button.  
Veggie.  
Mike walked up to the machine and hit the button. Hawaiian. Chica sighed in relief. Mike raised an eyebrow.  
"Awright hot stuff this is going to be the one that decides the game." She hit the button.  
Stuffed crust.  
"Looks like I win Moikey, a fittin' way to begin stuffin' my crust..." Her eyes half-lidded.  
Mike walked up to the machine and pressed the button.  
Pepperoni.  
Chica looked on in shock.  
"Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria has seven flavors of pizza. You can't fool me."  
"YOU'RE SICK MIKE, SICKAH THAN A DOG!" She hit the button and the dreaded sweet sundae appeared.  
Bonnie was shaking from the sight.  
"Chica, don't eat that shitty pizza. You don't have to do this." Mike stated.  
"B-but I gotta Moike it's tha rules!" Chica had the disgusting pizza near her maw.  
"If you drop that pizza into the trash, I'll give you a hug. Deal?" He offered.  
"W-well when ya put it that way..." She dropped the multi-hued abomination in the bin and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry Moike for ovahreactin' about ya fetish."  
"Actually that robot is bugged, it only says those things. Never does them."  
"Oh, well ain't I a fool." Chica looked a bit dejected.  
"No, that's a normal reaction given the situation."  
"Well in that case, why not have some fun?" Her tone turning from sorry to sultry.  
"Sorry," Mike broke the hug "those are the rules."  
"Awwww darnit, okay."  
"What have we here? Decide to come out of your shell honeycomb~?"  
Boss-lady Fazbear entered the door.  
"Just repairing any recent damage done to our work relations. Strictly professional."  
"So you say, though I saw how close those two were with you." She smirked "AHOY LADS AND LASSES!" Foxy ran into the kitchen, holding a noose so the hole was near his pelvis "WHO WANTS TO GET HUNG?!"  
"Foxy not now!" Mike took a slightly sharp tone "Can't you see we're having a sort of touchy moment?"  
"And why am I excluded? Can't a pirate get in on some touchin' himself?!"  
"Only when you stop making jokes about knots."  
The girls giggled, knowing Foxy's crippling addiction to knot puns all too well. 


	5. Epilogue

"Miiiikeeyy~" Bonnie leaned against the window, rocking to and fro suggestively. "Can I come in?"  
"S-s-sure" The currently-shivering guard managed to say. It was still cold due to management being cheapskates.  
The door opened, Bonnie stepping in and giving the guard a cuddly hug on his lap.  
"T-thanks, that's much better." Mike had to admit.  
"Mmmhmmhmm~" She started squirming a little, making a mess on his work attire. He was willing to make sacrifices to keep relations positive.  
"I'm still not giving you the dick Bonnie."  
She sighed "A girl can try right?"  
"As much as you like."  
"Thanks..." She leaned in.  
Mike was still watching the cameras.  
"Am I interrupting?" Fazbear came in.  
"Nothing out of the ordinary" The guard stated.  
"I do not understand you Schmidt, you have multiple women literally throwing themselves at you and you still refuse their company?"  
"I'm a professional ma'am, it's not my jo-"  
"Why don't I make it your job~?" She smiled cheekily.  
"Because I'm employed as a security guard, not a manwhore."  
Fazbear simply shrugged "Well, you aren't doing anything to hurt my close friends. No harm done, I suppose." She walked over to him "Do consider my offer."  
"Already have ma'am, multiple times."  
"Ohoho, and how did you consider?"  
"You would be asking for personal details beyond employment purposes, boss-lady." He stated in a businessman's tone.  
She chuckled. "I guess you really haven't broken out of that shell of yours...much." She turned to walk "Oh and by the way, Chica has a pizza waiting for you in the kitchen for your lunch break."  
"Thanks ma'am."  
"I even supervised to make sure she didn't put any 'extra' ingredients in it."  
"Good, thank you." He scratched between Bonnie's ears "Hey, want to go have a pizza?"  
"Sure!" She got off of him, leaving a snail trail where she sat. "Oh...oops."  
"Don't worry about it, I know how to clean these properly" He said. 'Or at least my robot does' He thought "Let's go." He reached around her shoulder with one arm, a walk they had taken a habit of doing.

Personal Note: Hey /5N FG/, sorry for the blue balls. It's all over. 


	6. Extra 01 - BEAR STUCK

"Oh dear...Mike could you help me out"  
Her butt and chest is jiggling Her thighs are stuck Her cute belly is inside the office Thanks anon who typed that out.

Mike Schmidt professional as ever, glanced at the bear stuck in the door.  
"Oh dear...Mike could you help me out?" She pleaded.  
Schmidt noticed the boss-lady was squirming every which way. "Okay, and how would I be able to help?"  
"Just give me a good tug dear."  
"...And what are you going to do when you get in the office?"  
"I just came here to discuss your performance hone-" She coughed "Mr. Schmidt."  
"Uh huh, sure." He walked over and gave her a hand getting in. He tugged and tugged until she slid through, landing on him.  
"Aww thanks, you're really sweet when you want to be." She booped him on the nose with one of her chubby fingers and smooched him on the cheek.  
"I really ought to get back to work, ma'am" He stated, all-business. 'Calm down, she's just trying to test you, rile you up' rapidly went through his mind.  
"I also came here to ask if you brought the goods."  
"They're in that bag" She looked to where he pointed and grabbed the brown sack.  
"Thanks!~" She cheered and began to walk out the other door. "Mind lending me your assistance again?" Her rear was stuck in the door this time.  
"You probably could have walked sideways through that door." He stated nonchalantly.  
"This is more fun~" She wiggled and giggled.  
Schmidt rolled his eyes and helped shove her in, it seemed like she was pushing her rear into him while doing so. Probably just his imagination, or not considering how flirty these robots were. After a bit of effort, she slipped through.  
"Thanks Mike, you're a dear~" She winked and waved to him, making her way down the hall.

'Finally, it's been a while since I had a smuggler for this...' she skipped down the house gleefully.  
"Morning!" Bonnie greeted "What's in the bag Ms. Fazbear?"  
"NOTHING!" The she-bear immediately began bounding for the office.  
"Huh...?" Bonnie tilted their head to the side "Weird, never seen her act like that."

There stood Ms. Fazbear, in her own little private quarters, nobody could discover her nor her secret. She opened the bag to reveal a jar of honey, of which she dumped voraciously into her maw.  
"OH MY GOD YES! I FUCKING LOVE HONEY!" She squealed. 


End file.
